" Don't let anything stop you from reaching your dreams."

Ev has gotten so distant over the past months. She hasn't talked to any of her friends in ages. I tried to talk to her dailt, but she wouldn't answer that much. I miss her, but I've been hanging out with my other friends and we were planning an intervention, until we found out.

It was early morning on a Tuesday. It was sunny, warm, and it was going pretty good. But of course I had to work again. I always have to work, always. I'm taking a vacation in a week or so. I was at my work, the studio, when I got the phone call. I told them goodbye and rushed outside called my friends, told them and told them to come to Chicago. I hurried into my apartment and packed a small bag with 2 outfits or so. I got in my car and prepared for a long drive.

I arrived there the next day. I had to stay at a hotel in Indiana and got ready there. I was one of the last people to arrive, except for Connie, Tanya and Layla. When they finally arrived, it was starting. I saw Adam in the back and I noticed that Jamie was in the corner. The rest of their bands were spread out throughout the church. The whole room was stuffy and was packed. There was so much crying, babies were even crying.

We finally went outside and stood there for the rest of the service. I was crying so hard, but was trying to smile for her. Thinking all about the past. All the double dates, sneak outs, parties, concerts, fights, and boyfriends that have come and gone. And she had finally got one to stick. He's sweet, romantic, smart, loyal and honest. She wasn't letting him go either, even he was crying.

I found my parents and hugged them, and we talked for a little bit. I saw Andrew and Ava standing behind a group of old classmates. I walked over to them and hugged them tightly. I started balling my eyes out. I missed them so much and I was so sorry that we hadn't talked in years. We stood there for a few minutes, then I let go and dried my eyes. We walked over to mom and dad, then they hugged each other. I decided to say hi to Jamie. When I did he hugged me. I cried and cried. I couldn't stop. I finally did, he rubbed my arm and hugged me again and walked off. Adam came over and he tried to hug me, but I started hitting him. I was crying and punching him. He finally pulled me in and held me.

I didn't want to have to see all my friends and family this way. I wish I had seen them earlier. I stood in the yard for a while, until it rained. Then I got into my car and drove back home. We had the rest of the ceremony there. My parents didn't want me to drive back to my place. But I was going to anyway. I said my goodbyes and grabbed my stuff and left. Life is going to be hard now. i'm not going to be able to call my support system anymore. I don't have anyone anymore, but life goes on. I won't take the easy way out, which is by ending life. I'm going to make it throught this tragedy, even though it'll be really hard.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I was at Ev's funeral. She comitted suicide. She was only 20 years old. She couldn't get over the car accident and knowing that she hurt her friends, but mostly that she killed that little girl. She couldn't deal with the guilt, so she didn't do the traditional suicide, she took a sword that her dad gave her, to actually protect herself, and stabbed herself in the stomache. She did it Monday night after her therapy. She had 2 therapists, counselors, support systems, she had everyone trying to help her. But she just would not forgive herself.